You know how to make her finish, which is a great sign of intimacy and connection. Now, you want those petites morts to multiply…and to turn that first finish line into more of a checkpoint.
Unlike men, women generally don’t need a ‘refractory period’ to recharge after they finish the first time. Many women can even orgasm within minutes or even seconds of the first one. While you may be scratching your head wondering how on earth you’ll get her there twice in one go, keep in mind that half the fun in giving your partner multiple orgasms is the journey.
The skills required to master the art of giving multiple orgasms are twofold: good communication and a willingness to experiment. Before you begin, make sure your partner is relaxed. Set the mood, light some candles, or take something off her plate to make her day go a little smoother. The key to having an orgasm in the first place is to release your inhibitions, so it’ll be much easier for your partner to have multiple if she is as chilled out as possible.
Make Sure She Wants Another
You may be thinking to yourself: who wouldn’t want another orgasm? The more the merrier, right?
Not always. Some women get very sensitive after orgasm, and the last thing they want is more stimulation down there right away. Other women may not want one because they’d rather cuddle or pillow talk instead of going for an encore. That’s where having good communication in the bedroom comes into play.
Once you’ve completed round one, ask her if she’s still in the mood. If so, proceed to the next step.
Ask Her What She’s in the Mood For
Nobody knows her body like she does. If she’s already had multiple orgasms before, she may know exactly what she needs to get there, which makes your job even easier.
Maybe fast and hard doggy got her there in the first place, and she wants the same pace for round two. Or maybe it was soft and slow missionary, or a particular way you fingered her. Maybe she needs you to do the exact opposite of what you did to get her quivering the first time. Point is: ask your partner, and she just might tell you.
Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment with Her
If she’s never had a multiple orgasm before, don’t be afraid to take your time to see how you two fit together, and what kind of stimulation gets her there the second or third time – it may be something completely different than the first.
Many make the mistake of thinking that the clitoris is the be-all, end-all of pleasure. While the clitoris’ only purpose is to provide feelings of sexual pleasure when stimulated and to bring a woman to orgasm, it’s not the only body part that can do so. In fact, too much pressure or speed on the clitoris can even have a numbing effect, which is the opposite of what you want.
For some women, the clitoris gets so sensitive after the first orgasm that they can’t bear you even touching it. In a case like this, it’s up to you two to experiment together to see what kind of stimulation gets her heart rate skyrocketing again.
While there are the obvious erogenous zones, like the vagina, the anus, the nipples and the neck, there may be some not-so-obvious erogenous zones that are specific to your partner. The earlobes, inner thighs, feet, palms of the hand, and wrists are all body parts that can turn your partner on if stimulated the right way. Trace those sensitive spots with your tongue, fingers or vibrator, staying in tune with your partners’ reactions and responding accordingly as you slowly work to rebuild the intensity. Experiment with up and down motions, as well as circular to stimulate the nerves and get the blood rushing to her sensitive spots.
Sometimes, however, taking advantage of a sensitive clitoris might just be your golden ticket. Certainly, if your partner says stop, you should stop, drop and roll(over to the other side of the bed). But if she’s open to the overstimulation of her still-pounding-from-the-first-orgasm clitoris, she might realize she loves it in a hurts-so-good kind of way. Since her limits with post-orgasm clitoris play may vary depending on the type of orgasm she just had, it’s important to keep communicating every time.
If you want to get more creative with delivering pleasure, consider experimenting with kinks and toys. Many people find it easier to orgasm with toys than with a partner, simply because of the consistency factor – you find what you like once, and you’re good. This makes them the ideal accessory for multiple orgasms – not only might it be easier for your partner to finish a second or third time, but she’s also likely to welcome the switch in sensation.
Also on the topic of toys, perhaps your partner has been fantasizing about bringing a cumming dildo into the bedroom – surprise her with one. Make her orgasm the first time, and then whip out a toy that you know she loves. The added excitement will get her blood pumping again quickly, and will stack the cards in your favor.
Another great way to experiment is by engaging the senses. Sensation play is a popular form of arousal where you aim to stimulate all your partners’ senses, like sight, taste and smell. This can include blindfolding your partner, using a feather tickler, bringing in a can of whipped cream…whatever your partner may already have curiosities about, or you already know they enjoy. Sensation play is great for round two, since triggering the senses can lead to more intense orgasms, making it perfect for when you want to up the ante.
Most importantly, you need to remember to not lay the pressure on hard. Rough sex aside, putting mental pressure on your partner to experience multiple orgasms can pretty much guarantee that she won’t have any. Setting the goal of making her orgasm more than once may lead to disappointment – some days, it may just not in the cards for you two, and that’s okay. Instead, set your mindset to simply have a pleasurable sensual session with your partner that’s longer than usual. This could include giving her multiple orgasms, or may not, but either way, you’re both guaranteed a night of fun and pleasure.