Tantra is trending because it allows for outrageously good sex.
Defined as the “weaving of energy” between partners, tantra is the slow approach to intimacy. Rather than racing toward an orgasm, the aim of Tantra is to strengthen the connection between your mind and your body.
When both you and your partner are attuned to your bodily sensations, you can share in a state of heightened sexual awareness. Stellar sex is just the happy byproduct of deepened intimacy.
Though new to the West, Tantra has been helping people have better sex for over 5,000 years. It’s long been a staple of Hindu spiritual culture, a way to explore the most profound and pleasurable aspects of sex.
“Tantra helps you to embrace pleasure, touch, and orgasms as a way to transform your life,” says Diana Nunez Giraldo, a conscious sexuality teacher and creator of Sexuero, a Tantric sex therapy that helps people to heal and improve their sex lives.
“Sex is a source of vitality and development in men. It allows them to feel their bodies and feelings in new, enjoyable ways. It’s key to creating a positive situation.”
While the idea of erotic intimacy might not give you a diamond-hard erection, it will improve your sex life. Here are some proven benefits of Tantra:
- Enjoy better sex
- Improve your relationships
- Reduce feelings of anxiety, shame or inadequacy around sex
- Last longer in bed
Read below for six tantric sex techniques that will improve your sex life.
1. Set the Mood
Tantra is more than a physical act, it’s a whole process of connecting emotionally with your partner. But before you can unlock the benefits of Tantra and explore new forms of sexuality, you’ll want to prepare an intimate space.
A special setting will make it easier to get in sync with your partner. The surroundings are especially important for women, says Giraldo, as “the deeper the woman’s relaxation, the deeper her pleasure.”
For men that suffer from performance anxiety, a change of surroundings can jolt them out of their pattern of premature ejaculation or impotence.
To set the mood, start by dimming the room and lighting some candles. Drape a colored cloth over any bright lamps, then lay a few blankets on the bed or the floor. Arrange pillows and cushions so that you can sit or recline comfortably.
If you like, hit up Spotify for a tantric sex playlist. Most importantly: don’t forget the coconut oil. You’ll need this for the Tantric massage and … other stuff.
Make a special night out of Tantra. Set a place, a time, and an intention to have a prolonged and exploratory erotic experience.
2. Gaze Into Your Partner’s Eyes
If the eyes are the window to the soul, the soul is a sexy beast.
And yet, people frequently close their eyes or avoid eye contact during sex. This is a missed opportunity for more intense and passionate sex.
Eye gazing is a Tantric technique that sparks an emotive and erotic response. Sustaining eye contact will radiate feelings of euphoria throughout the body.
Sit across from your partner on the bed or a comfortable cushion and gaze gently into another’s eyes. You can take hold of each other’s palms or wrists to steady yourself.
Hold the gaze for the duration of a song. Meanwhile, try to synchronize your breathing with your partner’s. Despite the lack of physical foreplay, this is a proven way to prepare for dynamite sex.
“Women need more time to get aroused because of the complexity of their nervous system. It takes different amounts of stimulus to get on the same level,” says Giraldo. Hence, it can be difficult to make sure both partners are sufficiently aroused.
Eye gazing releases a chemical called oxytocin, or “the cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin is responsible for creating feelings of intimacy – it’s what creates the feeling of a chemical attraction.
Once triggered, these hormones will help you to bring your lover to maximum arousal and enjoy next-level sex. As with foreplay, the longer you spend cultivating sexual energy, the stronger its impact will be.
3. Give and Receive a Tantric Massage
Instead of ramping into an orgasm, Tantric massage is used to elevate your partner’s overall levels of arousal.
By activating all of the body’s erogenous zones – areas with heightened sensitivity that can create a sexual response – you set yourself up for a truly mindblowing shag.
To begin, lay your partner on their stomach or back. Lubricate your hands with coconut oil and begin rubbing your hands over their body.
As you swirl your fingers across her nipples and swoop your palms underneath her buttocks – hey, you might get hard. That’s great, she’s getting turned on also, but don’t escalate to sex just yet.
Tantric massage is meant to be given first and then received. It’s not foreplay and not a springboard into penetration. Instead, it’s an erotic activity that helps lovers to communicate about what they like.
The receiver is also responsible for directing the giver. For example, your partner could say “I want it harder,” or “slower there” or “keep massaging my breasts.” If your partner is silent, ask them how it can be better.
This gradual path to stimulation benefits men with sexual issues such as premature ejaculation and performance anxiety. When you give and receive an erotic massage, you increase your excitement in a manageable way.
Massage cultivates a sense of general bliss rather than localized sensations in the penis. Since these sensations are slow to develop but permeate the whole body, you’ll be able to last longer and enjoy sex more fully once you start.
Eventually, you can work your way to a genital massage. For tips of giving an amazing Tantric prostate massage, click here.
3. Control Your Breath
Tantric breathing helps to regulate the sensations of sex. The more you control your breath, the lengthier and more powerful your sex will be.
Regular and relaxed breathing tells your brain that everything is under control. But if your breath is rapid and shallow, the mind starts to race and you can lose control (and come too soon).
“Be conscious about the breathing and notice what is happening. Breathing through the nose keeps the body calm and can help you to avoid ejaculation,” says Giraldo. If you need a breather, take a break or slow down to regain your composure.
You can also use your breath to increase your stimulation, says Giraldo. “When you breathe through the mouth, you increase your sensation. Even if the sex is hard, take long inhales and long exhales through the mouth.”
This will help you to get maximum airflow and increase your stamina for the final stages of sex. The key is to notice your breath and let it guide your sexual experience.
4. Make Some Noise
Stifling the sounds of sex diminishes the pleasure for both you and your partner.
It’s common to feel self-conscious about the noises we make during sex. With so much bad porn out there, grunting and groaning as you fuck can seem comical, even embarrassing.
Staying silent, however, limits your sexual potential. Sex is about channeling and transferring energy between partners. If done well, the result is a fat ol’ orgasm.
During this stimulating and physical process, women get aroused by hearing the man work hard to please them while also enjoying himself. The more sexual energy you express, the more sexual power you generate for you both.
But if you mute your sexual soundtrack, it reduces the amount of energy that’s being created and shared. It’s arousing to hear your partner receiving pleasure, so make that sexy noise.
For men, the mental effort of restraining yourself can lead to premature ejaculation. For women, failing to verbalize this enjoyment will often prevent orgasm.
Whether its a whimper or a roar, verbalize your enjoyment of sex. This will help you to fuck harder and better satisfy your partner.
5. Stop with the Expectations
The best sex happens when both partners are present.
But once the mind starts to wander, sexual performance and satisfaction begin to decline. Tantra teaches you to focus on the sensations of the here-and-now and nothing else.
“It’s important for men to stay in their body and stop having expectations about sex,” says Giraldo. Yes, the modern man thinks he must perform like a porn star. But an inauthentic concept of sex can interfere with your ability to connect with your body, your partner, and your sexual potential.
“There’s a lot of pressure to perform, but a man’s first responsibility is to himself. The man’s body is super powerful and can do a lot. But to have great sex, he needs to feel himself entirely, then think about his woman,” says Giraldo.
Focusing on just your sensations will improve your sexual awareness. In turn, you’ll be more attentive to your partner’s needs and better at satisfying their desires. Being present also helps to cut out expectations and fantasies, both of which are thought to contribute to premature ejaculation.
“You need to be able to feel your body without having an external stimulus. Stay open to feelings of sex and don’t get distracted. Tantric sex has no performance and no objectives, there’s no time or pressure,” says Giraldo.
The more you focus on yourself and your partner, the easier it will be to achieve next-level sex.
6. Change Your Rhythm
As the saying goes: when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. With Tantra, you can satisfy your partner better if you vary your approach to penetrative sex.
“Some guys really want to penetrate and be really strong. This works sometimes, but it’s good to explore ways of being soft as well,” says Giraldo.
Say you’re behind your partner in doggy style. Instead of ramming your penis in deep, slowly insert yourself. Push until you feel resistance, then withdraw. Every thrust counts in Tantra, so the outward pull is just as important as the inward thrust.
Continue for thirty seconds to a minute, then change the angle of penetration. Do this by pulling your partner’s hips back, thrusting upward or to the side, or raising yourself to get a downward angle.
You can always ask “how does this feel?” to help you find the position that’s working best.
Changing the angle of entry will stimulate a different part of the vagina, and act as a multiplier for her arousal. Once you’ve found a depth and angle she likes, you can alternate between going faster or slower to bring her to a righteous climax.
How Tantra Improves Your Sex Life
Tantric sex is intentional sex. This is an emotive practice that involves the mind, body, and the spirit. By amplifying your intimacy, you can enjoy some spectacular intercourse.
If you’re savvy in the sack, you’ll use these Tantric techniques to develop an awareness of your body and tune into what your partner really wants – every time.