Everyone likes a threesome. Men, women – we all fantasize about group sex.

Having a threesome is the most popular sexual fantasy, as 89% of people report having wished for a three-way, according to a recent survey by social psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

Most men fantasize about fucking two women, the study confirms. Most women, however, don’t show a preference for gender. People in relationships say that a threesome would ideally involve their spouse.

After hearing this, you should feel optimistic about your chances of having a threesome. But what if your woman still says no?

Follow these five steps to persuade your partner to have a threesome.

1. Communicate Why You Want a Threesome

Your partner wants to grant your desires. She may also fantasize about a threeway but feel uncomfortable with expressing it.

Starting a conversation lets you broach the topic, share your ideas, and gives you a chance to dissolve her hesitations.

“Ask from a place of wanting to learn more about your partner rather than one of trying to manipulate your partner to do what you want,” says Dr. Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist.

“If you can understand the concerns or apprehensions of where your partner is coming from, you could potentially address them,” Lee concluded.

Threesome is a loaded term and can entail many activities, so be specific about your wishes and your motivations. Be sure to ask for her thoughts as well. Does she have similar fantasies? How would she imagine a threesome? What does the ideal candidate look like?

By removing any ambiguity from the threesome, you’ll lessen her doubts and reinforce how important this fantasy is to you. If your partner feels heard, understood, and respected – you’re halfway to getting the threeway of your dreams.

2. Assure Your Partner She’s #1

Asking your partner for a threesome could make her feel insecure.

How would you respond if your girlfriend said she wanted to spruce up her sex life with another cock? You’d likely feel like you were lacking in some way.

Reassure your partner that a threesome isn’t an excuse to fuck other people.

If she feels like she’s about to be overshadowed by another woman, she’ll refuse. Explain that it’s the idea of two partners simultaneously – not just any other body – that really turns you on.

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Help her understand that she’s the center of your sexual universe. This other girl? Just a satellite in orbit. To prove your point, give her the juicy details she needs to feel sexy about a threeway.

How hard is your cock at the thought of plowing her from behind while a girl licks her pussy? Do you imagine her scissoring this girl as you jerk off onto her tits? Really paint a picture.

Details are key to demonstrating the depth of your desire and to rousing her interest. If you really sell it, she might get excited enough to come along for the ride.

Bonus: Pepper in phrases like “enhance our intimacy” to convince her that she’s your main squeeze, and the only one you want to accompany you on this shared sexual adventure.

3. Choose the Candidate Together

Your partner should help you to recruit the invitee for your threesome.

After all, finding the third-party for your threesome can be a challenge. Maybe you already have someone in mind, but if not – the hunt is on.

So where should you search – the club, a swinger’s party, Craigslist? Give it a whirl, but these options can be a waste of time and lead to awkward encounters.

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Better to team up and head out for drinks.

Find yourselves a single’s bar, then proceed to eye-fuck the hotties that you both find attractive. Chatting with people as a couple is easy, and if you’re sending out the right vibe, your prey might even come to you.

Make this a fun game rather than a must-do mission. See where it goes and maybe you’ll get lucky.

4. Give Her the Right to Refuse

Remind your partner that she can say “no” to the threesome at any time.

If your lady knows that she can pull the plug at any time, she’ll feel more secure and open to the process. In turn, she’ll be more likely to participate in and enjoy the menagé-à-trois.

Maybe there are some acts that she wants to avoid. Or perhaps she doesn’t want you to do certain things with the invitee.

Giving her power over the proceedings is a sign of respect, but also acts as a fail-safe against any weird or embarrassing moments.

The fear of awkward moments is one of the main reasons people avoid threesomes. If your lady sets the boundaries, you can be sure to avoid these relationship-ending snafus and clear away one more objection to some dynamite group sex.

5. Make a Trade

Sometimes you have to give in order to get.

This sexual tit-for-tat could lead to a strange place, so prepare to entertain her fantasies to get your way.

This could mean role-playing. Sex in public. BDSM. Or maybe she wants to get fucked by both you and another guy.

A two-guy threesome is a discomfiting idea for most guys, but it’s a huge turn-on for women. And if you’re asking for a two-girl threesome, you’re a hypocrite to refuse. Instead of saying no right away, come prepared for this scenario.

Ask yourself: what will you tolerate?

For example, you could request no kissing or no actual penetration. Maybe he has to be shorter than you, have a smaller penis, or just be a midget. Since you’ve extended her the courtesy of refusal, she should allow you to set boundaries on the experience as you see fit.

Hopefully, you can both reach a compromise. Come prepared for this curveball by thinking out a few ground rules, should the scenario arise.

Ultimately, a little charm and communication are all you need to coax your partner into a threesome.

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