For us men, reaching orgasm is fairly simple. Stimulate the penis enough and you’re almost guaranteed to come. But the female orgasm is more complicated. Only 64% of women orgasm regularly orgasm during sex, a stat which is intimidating for even the most confident man. It poses a threat to one of the main measures of manhood – our ability to please our partners.
The good news is that it’s easy to up your game. Certain tricks will drive every girl wild, so that by the time you get your penis in the work is already half done. And these aren’t the same tricks you learned back in the locker room in 7th grade. Each of these 5 techniques are guaranteed by science to make her orgasm EVERY TIME!
1. Sext with her throughout the day
One of the easiest ways to turn a woman on requires no physical contact. Sexting often gets a bad rep in the media. Conservatives tend to see it as deviant, risky, and just plain irresponsible. And when it goes wrong – like with this mom who accidentally sent a close-up of her vagina to a hockey moms group – it can be truly disastrous.
But recent studies have shown that it’s worth the risks. It is the ultimate foreplay, in that it happens before you’re in the same room.
The danger makes it all the more thrilling.
It offers just enough to get her going and leave her anticipating the action with her mouth – and other parts – watering.
This study from the American Psychology Association shows a clear correlation between sexting and sexual and relationship satisfaction. So, with the right words and the sexiest pics, she’ll be halfway there before you’ve even touched her.
2. The figure 8 technique
Research has consistently shown that the clitoris is a central tenet of sexual pleasure. The most reliable way to stimulate the clit is with oral sex. But since we don’t have a clitoris of our own, we’re not familiar with how it works. Most men who go down on a girl are usually just gyrating their tongues in the hope that something will happen.
Well, this does not have to be the case. It turns out there’s a simple technique you can learn that works nearly every time. I’m talking about the famous figure 8.
Work the area around her clitoris. Suck gently until you feel the clitoris swell, then carefully open the area with your fingers.
Circle it with the slippery underside of your tongue. Go left, then right. Then, use the tip flick from side to side and up and down. Finally, alternate between your tongue’s smooth underside and tip in a figure 8 movement. Try different degrees of pressure, gauging her reaction to see what works best.
3. Women love anal
Until fairly recently, anal sex was portrayed on tv as a homosexual practice. Nowadays, show creators are realizing that heterosexuals love it too. But it is generally shown as a male fetish. Johnny Drama on Entourage says the vagina is only his 3rd favorite orifice. In Kingsman, protagonist Eggsy is ecstatic when offered anal as a reward for saving the world.
What you don’t get to see is that women love anal as much as – if not more than – men do. In a 2010 survey, 40% of women between the ages of 20-24 admitted to having tried it. But it’s the next statistic that is so surprising. 65% of women who had vaginal sex and 81% who had oral sex in their last encounter reached orgasm.
But among those who had anal sex, 94% reached orgasm!
No one quite knows why this should be the case. After all, it does not seem to make evolutionary sense. It’s possible that the thrill of being a bad girl and doing something kinky already brings her close. It can also fit well (no double entendre intended) into BDSM power games. However, the research shows that the sex itself causes orgasms, not just the associations – probably due to the large number of nerve endings around the anus.
But don’t rush in guns blazing. Many women are reluctant to try it. It can be painful and off putting and you need to be careful and gentle. It’s worth bringing up with your partner, but don’t put pressure on her to do it.
4. Exercise together
Working out can greatly improve your sex drive and your skills in bed. Working out together with your girl does all that and more. There’s a few reasons for this:
- a 2007 study showed that the smell of a man’s sweat increased the hormone cortisol in women, leading to physiological arousal, changed mood, and brain activation.
- exercise causes your body to release endorphins – the brain’s feel-good chemical. They wash away tension, which is often an obstacle in sexual arousal.
- do exercise with an element of risk to get the adrenaline pumping. Go rock climbing together before sex and you’ll both be clamoring to try something new in the bedroom.
- exercise makes you more aware of your bodies, which increases perceptions of arousal.
5. Talk dirty to her
Jerry: She’s talking about her panties, so I said, you mean the panties your mother laid out for you
George: What does that mean?
Jerry: I don’t know!
Girl: Talk to me
Ross: Ok… weird thing happened to me on the train this morning
Girl: No, talk dirty to me
Ross: Uh… um… ooh… vulva?
Seinfeld and Friends did not do a good job of showing us how to talk dirty to a woman. But they did manage to portray the importance of dirty talk in bed. If you do it right, it takes sex to another level.
Daryl Cioffi explains that “people very much enjoy dirty talking because it activates all regions of your brain while your body is also getting stimulated. Similar areas of the brain are touched upon during dirty talk as when we curse. So, very often as your brain sees it, the dirtier the better.”
This is especially important for women – since they have lower levels of testosterone, it takes more to get them in the mood. It can also be very liberating, as it breaks down the “good girl” mindset, lowers inhibition, and generates intimacy.
Communication is key
These 5 tricks have been shown by science to get any women hot and bothered. But without good communication, you might fall flat on your face anyway. Every girl is different, but most of them know what they like. Speak to them about what they’re willing to try, and bring up these techniques.